


Long Road Back

by shinysylver



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Memories, Christmas, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Kylux Secret Santa 2020, M/M, Redeemed Ben Solo, Returning Home, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28082958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: Going home for the first time in fifteen years is hard, but at least Ben isn't alone.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 48
Collections: Kylux Secret Santa 2020





	Long Road Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosensilence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosensilence/gifts).



> Rosensilence, I hope you enjoy this! Based on your request I've tried to give you a Modern AU with both softness and an edge of assholery and a bit of PWP mixed in. I also saw on your Twitter that you enjoy bed-sharing, which was the piece that made everything else fall into place. I've never actually written a Kylux Modern AU and I had a surprising amount of fun with the post-TRoS redeemed Ben dynamic in an AU. Thanks for giving my muse the inspiration. 
> 
> Happy Holidays!
> 
> Thanks so much to huxandthehound for betaing this fic and making it so much better than it would have been otherwise.

_And although I know it's a long road back_  
_I promise you_  
_I'll be home for Christmas_

-"I'll Be Home for Christmas" the Johnny Mathis version

  
Ben couldn't take his eyes off the house. The solid, unassuming colonial was the sort of house you found on greeting cards with its cheery yellow paint and white shutters. The recent snowfall, still pristine, and tasteful white Christmas lights finished the picture-perfect image. To Ben, however, it was anything but cheerful.

He hadn't been back here in fifteen years. Not since his parents had shipped him off to live with his Uncle Luke. Sitting here, looking at the house made him feel like a child again--small and out of control. 

"We don't have to go in," Hux said. He shifted around in the passenger seat until he could push his hands into his coat pockets. "In fact, I'd rather we didn't. But if we're going to just sit here can you at least turn the heat back on?"

Ben finally tore his eyes away from his childhood home and gave his attention to Hux. He was tense, his eyes darting to the house with barely concealed apprehension. "They're expecting us. But if you want to leave…."

Hux rolled his eyes. "They might be expecting you, but they're dreading me." He opened the door letting in the biting cold and stepped out of the car, making the decision for both of them. "Come on. Dithering isn't very becoming."

It was Ben's turn to roll his eyes even though a large part of him was grateful for Hux taking the initiative so that he didn't have to. He went around to the back of the car and took out their bags. He slung his familiar worn and frayed canvas tote over his shoulder and let Hux deal with his immaculate hardshell suitcase with spinning wheels. From the outside, their bags didn't make much sense together--much like them. 

Now that he was out of the car and set on a path, he barrelled forward with all of the single-minded determination that had made him an excellent enforcer for Snoke. Of course, his job had technically been bodyguard, but that had just been politics. 

He only hesitated a moment before knocking on the door, a hard bang that couldn't be missed. It was strange to knock on this door, but the years when he could run in and out at will were long over. Besides, he was pretty sure that they'd changed the locks on him once he'd started running with the Knights. 

His mother must have been waiting nearby because he'd barely lowered his hand before the door was flung open. She was shorter than he remembered, not even coming up to his shoulder, and much older. In his mind, she was always the way he remembered her when he left home at fifteen. Even though he'd seen her on television, it hadn't really hit home until that moment how much time had truly passed. 

"Mother," Ben said into the heavy silence. He kept his voice carefully even, not betraying any of his thoughts. 

"Ben," Leia breathed out. She stepped forward to hug him, but he shifted his bag so that she was forced to pat his arm awkwardly instead. Being here was hard enough. He wasn't ready for hugs yet.

Leia's smile was only slightly strained as she turned her attention to Hux. "And you must be Armitage Hux."

Hux stepped forward and took Leia's hand politely. "A pleasure."

Hux had always been better at the politics than Ben--that's how he'd ended up Snoke's campaign manager while Ben had been the muscle--but Ben knew him well enough now to see the distaste in his eyes. He'd never been one for handshakes or any other kind of physical contact.

Ben rested a hand on Hux's lower back, pleased that Hux leaned into it. His was the only touch that Hux welcomed. 

The contact didn't escape Leia's notice, her eyes following his movement, but to her credit, she didn't comment. Instead, she stepped back and gestured them inside. "I hope your old room will be okay. Luke and Rey are using the guest rooms…."

"It's fine," Ben said. He didn't relish the idea of being back in his old room, but he was glad that she wasn't questioning their relationship. He hadn't known what to expect. Hux had been his mother's political adversary for a very long time, ruthlessly managing Snoke's run against her for Senate twice. Inviting him into her home for Christmas couldn't be easy. 

Ben crossed the entranceway and peeked into the living room. The furniture was different, but it was still arranged the same way he remembered. An ornately decorated Christmas tree was in the corner of the room, looking like it belonged on a magazine cover. Perfectly wrapped presents in matching silver paper were piled underneath it, not a single one out of place. 

His mother always liked to maintain a certain image. His father had hated it. 

Ben walked closer, taking in the six stockings hanging over the fireplace. There were the old familiar ones for Han, Leia, Luke, and Ben and there were two new ones for Rey and Hux. His mother had gone to great lengths to find ones that were nearly identical to the old ones, but the fabric was less faded and the names were stitched in a slightly different font. 

"There's one for me?" Hux whispered, the surprise evident in his voice although he'd had the presence of mind to speak softly enough that Leia wouldn't hear him.

"Mom always includes everyone," Ben murmured. He circled the room, walking closer to the tree, and stopped in shock when he saw a few familiar handmade ornaments hanging front and center. They didn't belong with the rest of the aesthetic and he reached out to touch a paper candy cane with a lopsided "Ben Solo 1995" scrawled on it. "Where did you find these?"

"We put them up every year," Leia answered gently. "We never gave up hope, Ben."

He shuffled his feet uneasily. It was hard enough having these conversations with his mother over the phone, he wasn't ready for them in person. Calling her when he realized just how bad Snoke was and how much trouble he was in had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. Well, next to telling Hux that he was planning to go to the Feds to take Snoke down. 

He'd been surprised by both their responses. His mother had promised to shield him politically as much as she could, and Hux had reluctantly confessed that he'd already been feeding the FBI information--information that could have taken Ben down too. It was a miracle that they'd managed to work through that time together, but it had made their relationship stronger. And they were both free men now while Snoke rotted in prison. 

"It's late," Hux said. His voice was brusque, but Ben knew a rescue when he heard one. "We should head to bed."

Leia nodded. "The bed is already made. I'm sorry it's so small. If you need me to find an air mattress let me know. I think Han has one in the garage from the last time he and Chewie went camping."

"Where is Dad?" Ben asked.

Leia's mouth tightened. "Poker night at Lando's. On Christmas Eve of all days." She smiled again, her irritation fading. "We weren't sure when you were going to arrive or I'm sure he would have been here. He's happy you're joining us this year."

Ben wasn't so sure, but he nodded his head. "Goodnight, Mother."

He led the way up the stairs and down the hall stepping quietly past the guest rooms so that he wouldn't wake his uncle. The last thing he wanted was a late-night confrontation with his uncle. He would rather put that off until breakfast when his mom was there to mediate.

His old room was at the end of the hall across from his parents' room. The door wasn't anything special, but he stopped in front of it staring at the discolored spot where he'd taped up a no trespassing sign as a kid. The tape had pulled up some of the paint, marring the otherwise flawless door. He was surprised his mother hadn't repainted it in all this time.

"Are we going to sleep in the hall, then?" Hux asked after a moment.

The sarcastic statement shook Ben out of his reverie and he opened the door, automatically flipping the light switch as he stepped inside. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he could see clearly, causing Hux to bump into his back. 

"What are you doing?" Hux snapped. 

"They didn't change it at all." Ben looked around the room, taking in the posters that nearly covered the walls like some sort of angry wallpaper. There were posters of Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, and System of a Down all hanging crookedly on purpose to annoy his mother. 

Hux pursed his lips. "Well, no one can accuse you of having good taste."

"And what did you listen to? Military marches?"

"They are quite rousing, but no," Hux said. He crossed the room and set his suitcase on the small desk that Ben knew had curse words carved into the surface. He busied himself with opening the suitcase and taking out his pajamas, keeping his eyes averted from Ben. "I wasn't allowed music."

Ben wanted to kick himself. He may have been miserable growing up, but he realized now that he'd always been loved. Hux hadn't had the same luxury. There was a time when he wouldn't have cared if he hurt Hux with his careless words, but no longer. They were both trying to be kinder to each other. 

They were a work in progress.

He crossed the room and dropped a quick kiss to the side of Hux's neck in a wordless apology. "The bathroom is across the hall, do you want to go first?"

While Hux was gone, Ben poked around the room. Everything really was the way he'd left it right down to the faded t-shirts crammed into the drawers. He'd bulked up so much over the years that he doubted they would fit any longer. He picked up one old concert shirt and held it out. It would probably fit Hux.

"What are you looking for?" Hux asked when he got back. 

Ben put the shirt down and rifled through the drawer, feeling around the back. "I wonder if my stash is still here?"

"We are not smoking fifteen-year-old weed," Hux said firmly. He set his carefully folded clothes next to his suitcase and pulled the black comforter down to reveal thankfully freshly washed sheets. Ben hadn't been the cleanest teenager. "This is going to be a tight fit."

Ben left to brush his teeth and when he came back, Hux was stretched out in his bed. Seeing Hux there was bizarre yet strangely hot. If only his teenage self could see them now. He'd spent so much of his youth furtively jerking off, never letting himself imagine a time when a real man would grace his bed.

Hux raised an eyebrow at him. "I know that look. We are not having sex in this bed. It's a twin for fuck's sake. I don't even know how we're going to sleep."

Ben stripped down to his boxers, deciding to forgo his pajamas, and slid into the bed next to Hux. It really was a tiny bed--both of their feet hung off the end and Hux was pressed against the wall by Ben's bulk. 

He put his arm around Hux's waist, sliding his hand under the shirt to rest against the warm skin. "You know, teenage me daydreamed about this."

Hux shifted around until he was half lying across Ben's chest. He yanked the blankets around until he was covered, but Ben's leg was bare. "You daydreamed about sleeping half off the bed?"

Ben rolled his eyes and pinched Hux's ass. "You know what I mean."

Hux tilted his head up to glare at Ben. "You're a wanker."

"Something like that." Ben closed the distance between them and kissed the mock outrage off of Hux's face. "But I like the real thing better."

A light blush spread across Hux's face and he dropped his eyes. Not for the first time Ben wished he'd gotten his head out of his ass sooner. He'd spent too many years treating Hux as barely more than casual fuck, when he deserved better. Hux still wasn't used to this new more demonstrative Ben. 

Hux raised his eyes, a mischievous smirk replacing his momentary discomfort. "Fine. One handjob. For teenage Ben's sake." He slowly slid his hand down Ben's abdomen and underneath the elastic waist of his boxers scratching slowly through Ben's pubic hair. "But you will stay silent. I refuse to sit across the breakfast table from Senator Organa if she overhears us."

The thought of his mother listening in was almost enough to ruin the mood, but Hux's fingers brushing the base of his cock drove it from his mind. He lifted his hips up so that he could push his boxers down, giving Hux free rein.

Hux took his time, running his fingers lightly over Ben's cock. Once he was fully hard, Hux grasped him tightly and began stroking. At the end of each firm stroke, he ran his thumb over the tip, pressing into Ben's slit. 

A slow twist of Hux's hand had Ben moaning, and Hux froze in place. "I will stop."

Ben pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, biting down lightly to keep quiet and Hux resumed stroking.

"That's better," Hux murmured. "I know how loud you can be when I fuck you, but you can't do that here." Ben bit down harder, wishing that Hux was fucking him now. Hux pressed a wet kiss to Ben's shoulder. "That's a good boy."

Hux's words mixed with the illicit excitement of having sex in his childhood bed had Ben's muscles spasming as he came hard. It was a struggle to stay silent, but the sharp pain that came from biting his own hand only added to the orgasm, drawing it out. 

"Stop. You'll hurt yourself." Hux tugged at Ben's hand, bringing him back to himself. 

He let Hux examine his hand, rubbing at the teeth marks. "I'm fine." He stretched out his legs, feeling relaxed for the first time since he'd set foot in this house. "Better than fine."

Hux kissed the back of Ben's hand in a surprisingly gentle display of affection before letting go. "Good."

Ben grabbed the sheet and used the edge to clean the come from his abdomen before pulling his boxers back up. 

"That's disgusting." Hux sounded scandalized.

"It's not the first time. These sheets have seen things."

"That makes it worse," Hux said, primly. He didn't seem as bothered by Ben's hygiene as he acted though, curling closer to Ben and tangling their legs together. 

Ben ran his hand down Hux's side to his hip. "Do you want me to…."

"Not tonight," Hux said. "Your fantasies might involve sex in your parents' house, but mine do not." He looked up at Ben, a soft smile on his face. "You can make it up to me when we get home."

Ben knew that being here was uncomfortable for Hux, that if given his choice the two of them would spend the holiday in their small apartment with their cat Millicent and lock out the rest of the world. But still, he was here with Ben. "Thank you for coming with me. I don't think I could do it by myself."

"Of course not," Hux said, his voice flippant. "You're utterly useless without me."

Ben laughed. "I am."

"As long as you realize it," Hux said. "Now go to sleep."

Despite the cramped bed and his anxiety about seeing his entire family tomorrow, Ben felt more at peace in this room than he could ever remember. He was finally becoming the man he wanted to be and for the first time in his life he didn't feel alone. 

He kissed the back of Hux's head and let sleep tug him under. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> You can find my social media information in my profile. :D


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